I wish people come to the reality that a successful marriage is not built with love alone, it is built with trust and many other virtues on the basal foundation of love. Love is not the materials for building, it is the usually unseen foundation soil underneath, upon which the building depends. In other words, there are many other factors besides the foundation that determines the strength, possible height and durability of the building called “marriage”
Somehow, society and religious teachings has come to twist that to mean with just love, you can conquer anything, including marriage. Hhhmm, evidence has proven otherwise. There are so many broken homes with couples who truly loved each other but, could not build a home beyond that foundation because every other ingredient/materials are missing or one has them but, the other doesn’t.
Come to think of it, in Christian religion, Jesus Christ left us only two commandments: LOVE GOD AND LOVE YOUR NEIGHBOUR AS YOURSELF. And neighbour means neighbour, all neighbours. And loves means love, as much as you love yourself. If marriage is to be based on love alone, then, we could marry any of our neighbours but, we can’t because we desire something higher than love in marriage, TRUST..! If you can’t trust him/her, please forget that marriage. You may be together but, you will surely be unhappy. Amen..!!
A CASE STUDY:
Now, let’s consider this scenario posted by a Facebook friend, Nancy Okojie:
Laughing @ those couples who quarrel and fight all the time, the woman will always be shouting, I’m going back to my fathers house,this marriage is over, useless man!
The man will be like, pls go oo!!!, I have never enjoyed this marriage for a minute! Gooo!!!! Bad woman!
Oh well one thing about this lovely couple is that, The wife gets pregnant every year….hehehehe
Like how does that happen? When man claims he has not enjoyed the marriage… But I know make up sex is bae..”
MY VIEWS ABOUT THIS CASE STUDY:
That isn’t about make-up sex at all, in my view. There will be no makeup attempt if there was no foundational love. And that they made up with sex and achieve pregnancy often doesn’t mean they are happy with the union. And it is not always about the devil’s attack as some are trying to insinuate above.
That couple defines a typical example of a couple who truly love each other but, lacks the ingredients/materials needed to build a happy/peaceful home together. Buttressing the view that decisions of whom to marry shouldn’t be based on loving that person alone.
People may say don’t worry, they will get bye with time. Hhhmmm, that’s true but, with needless pains and many scars. Of course, with time, any living being learns to tolerate and get around a factor they can’t eliminate by commission or omission, if the factor doesn’t kill you.
I hope the unmarried ones can look beyond just love and see to it that they are compatible with their potential life partners in many other existential ways.
Love they say conquers all things. Hhhmm, I hope we know that means love tolerates, persevere, suffer long, etc but, doesn’t mean you will be happy together.
Aaahh, I wish I was a pastor so I can prevent many from falling prey of this…lol 😃. Truth is, many religious homes don’t teach these realities, they just ask them to love, love, love, etc.